We hear so much about the Inner Child in spiritual circles. At the same time, there is also a lot of confusion about what the inner child is all about. Some think the inner child is the wise one within our consciousness, some think it is our soul or spiritual self.
But the inner child is not any of that. It is, in fact, an aspect of our psychological self and it can also represent the archetype of the innocent one.
If we see the world through the eyes of the inner child, we will see the world through the lens of innocence, with childlike wonder.
Wouldn’t you agree that sometimes it is so important to be able to view the world with childlike wonder? This gives us an opportunity to see the world and other people without any judgement. And especially so during this Christmas season?
When we see the world through the eyes of the inner child we often see the good sides. We see the good aspects because a child is very innocent and has no judgement.
The problem with that is if we do not have the wisdom, then we will be able to discern what is negative and positive, and we will only see things from a too positive viewpoint without being in touch with reality We may endanger ourselves, by not being able to see the negative intentions of people, or be blind even to our own false parts of self. In this sense, our imbalanced inner child can lead us astray.
Now, you can say that there are negative and positive aspects of the inner child. On one hand we are able to see the good perspective and we are able to see the world with childlike wonder but on the other hand, we can be too naïve.
So, to work with the inner child, we need to understand that for the inner child within our own psyche to work to our advantage we must always integrate the wise archetype. The wise one archetype must work alongside the inner child archetype in order to keep us in balance.
Now there is this belief within new age/spiritual circles where people think that the inner child is one’s soul and that we should always be listening to the inner child because it is our intuitive promptings. The problem with this is that if one doesn’t understand the workings of the inner child or think this aspect of self is filled with wisdom – what happens if your inner child is actually a spoilt brat? Then by listening to the promptings of your spoilt brat, you could very well be led astray!
So the question now is: how to identify and understand the inner child? This is something that I learned from my mentor a long time ago – there is a process called Inner Child Dialoguing. The dialogue process is a very simple one.
You are simply having an imaginary conversation with a child on paper (or on your computer). Find some quiet time to do this. This conversation is between you and the inner child. For example, if I were to have this conversation with my inner child, I would allow this conversation to be a free-flowing one, without any censorship, simply allowing the dialogue to flow.
Shamala: Hello! This is Shamala, and I would like to invite my inner child to have a conversation with me. How are you doing today my dear inner child?
Inner child: Oh I’m having a horrible day, you are such a bad person, you are such a bad parent to me, you did not pay attention to me, you did not give me rest yesterday, you work so hard.
The above conversation shows me what I need to pay attention to. Through these conversations, you will get an idea which inner child is speaking to you, it could be the spoilt brat one day, the weak one another day. Or it could be is a fearful one.
The aim is to keep the inner child balanced, happy and loved. The adult inner voice must parent the inner child effectively to keep her balanced. She must feel loved, secured and at the same time, the adult must also parent her, as you would a real child. To add to this, there is also the voice of the inner parent which can also be critical or weak. So a dialogue process can also be set up to find out how your inner parent works!
These dialogue processes are essentially investigative in nature. You want to know exactly what is going on inside you. So maybe you are going through some relationship challenges and you want to know exactly what the inner child is experiencing or what the inner parent is thinking. This is really quite an effective journaling process.
I personally coach my clients on this process and I also do have a few slots for email coaching on how to journal using investigative dialoguing process. Drop me an email for more information.
Despite what people believe, or don’t want to believe for that matter, we all have split personalities and they all surface at different times. So you might have noticed this about yourself – If you were to go home, to your family home during the festive season, you will find that you function and operate quite differently as you would in the office or with your friends. These are different aspects of us would surface in different situations and different circumstances.
Now if we don’t know how all of these personalities are behaving then how are we going to know ourselves? Without knowing there is no way to grow. Self-awareness is key and from awareness, you will know what kind of actions to take in order for you to evolve and in order for you to take the next step of your development.
Without a proper structure, it is harder to grow. Too many spiritual people say ‘all I need to do is just meditate and I will grow’. No, that’s not true. You need to really understand yourself and the only way you can understand yourself is through self-reflection.
Now I hope that this information I have shared with you is going to serve you well in your further development. I share this article so that you do not make the mistake that many on the path of personal development are making. Namaste!